Next year’s Cork Distance Week will have a record number of attendees, many from outside Ireland. Some will be coming nervous or terrified about the potential temperatures especially if they heard any of 2011′s details.
They need a scale of reference for that fear and we need a common terminology!
Steve Munatones on Daily News of Open Water Swimming had a great post recently on the temperatures at which people consider water cold.
I hope he won’t mind me showing the poll results here:
I remember Finbarr once saying to me that; “10ºC is the point at which you can start to do some proper distance”.
{Fin, I need either a blog or picture from you for the constant references. Either one of you in your UCC Pirate Polo Speedos or one of you swimming directly over some poor unsuspecting swimmer going round a buoy would be the most appropriate.}
I hope Jack Bright might have some input into this also. 
I think it would be fair to say that many, if not most (but not all), of the (serious) Irish and British swimmers would fall into the 7% category, it’s getting cold under 10° C.
So here’s my purely personal swimmer’s temperature scale:
Over 18°C (65°F): This temperature is entirely theoretical and only happens on TV and in the movies. The only conclusion I can come to about the 32% who said this is cold are that they are someone’s imaginary friends. Or foetuses.
16°C to 18°C (61 to 64°F): This is paradise. This is the temperature range at which Irish and British swimmers bring soap into the sea. The most common exclamation heard at this stage is “it’s a bath”!!! Sunburn is common. Swimmers float on their backs and laugh and play gaily like children. They wear shorts and t-shirts after finally emerging. They actually feel a bit guilty about swimming in such warm water. Exposures times are above 40 hours.
14°C to 16°C (57° to 61°F): Aaahhh, summer. All is well with the world, the sea and the swimmers. Exposure times are at least 20 to 40 hours. Sandycove Swimmers will swim 6 hour to 16 hour qualification swims, some just for the hell of it and because others are doing it. Lisa Cummins will see no need to get out of the water at all and will just sleep while floating, to get a head start on the next day’s training.
13°C (55° to 56°F): Grand. You can do a 6 hour swim, and have a bit of fun. Daily long distance training is fine. Barbecues in Sandycove. The first Irish teenagers start to appear.
12°C (53/54°F): Well manageable. You can still do a 6 hour swim, it’ll hurt but it’s possible. Otherwise it’s fine for regular 2 to 4 hour swims. This the temperature of the North Channel.
11°C (51/52°F): Ah well (with a shrug). Distance training is well underway. Ned, Rob, Ciarán, Danny C., Imelda, Eddie, Jen & myself, at least, have all recorded 6 hour qualification swims at this temperature. Lisa did 9 hours at this temperature. Swimmers chuckle and murmur quietly amongst themselves when they hear tourists running screaming in agony from the water, throwing children out of the way…
10°C (50°F): Usually known as “It’s Still Ok”. The key temperature. This is the one hour point, where one hour swims become a regular event. We start wearing hats after swims.
9°C (48/49°F): “A Bit Nippy”. No point trying to do more than an hour, it can be done, but you won’t gain much from it unless you are contemplating the Mouth of Hell swim. Christmas Day swim range. Someone might remember to bring a flask of tea. No milk for me, thanks.
8°C (46/48°F): The precise technical term is ”Chilly”. Sub one-hour swims. Weather plays a huge role. Gloves after swims. Sandycove Swimmers scoff at the notion they might be hypothermic.
7°C (44/45°F): ”Cold”. Yes, it exists. It’s here. The front door to Cold-Town is 7.9°C.
6°C (42/43°F): “Damn, that hurts”. You baby.
5°C (40/41°F): “Holy F*ck!” That’s a technical term. Swimmers like to remind people this is the same temperature as the inside of a cold domestic fridge. Don’t worry if you can’t remember actually swimming, getting out of the water or trying to talk. Memory loss is a fun game for all the family.
Under 5°C (Under 40 °F). This is only for bragging rights.There are no adequate words for this. In fact speech is impossible. It’s completely acceptable to measure exposure times in multiples of half minutes and temperatures in one-tenths of a degree. This is hard-core. When you’ve done this, you can tell others to “Bite me, (’cause I won’t feel it)”. (4.8°C is mine). Carl Reynolds starts to get a bit nervous. Lisa tries to remember her suntan lotion.
Ned Denison during the winter
2.5°C to 5°C. South London Swimming Club and British Cold Water Swimming Championships live here. If you are enjoying this, please seek immediate psychological help. Lisa might zip up her hoodie.
1.5°C to 2.5°C: Lynn Coxian temperatures. You are officially a loon.
0°C to 1.5°C: Aka ”Lewis Pughian” temperatures. Long duration nerve damage, probably death for the rest of us. Lisa** considers putting on shoes instead of sandals. But probably she won’t.
*Grand is a purely Irish use that ranges from; “don’t mind me, I’ll be over here slowly bleeding to death, don’t put yourself out … Son“, to “ok” and “the best“, indicated entirely by context and tone.
** Lisa Cummins, for the win.
Looking forward to your opinions.
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