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From The Diving Blog:

1. Win an Academy Award. Over 50 Oscars are given out each year (including scientific and technical award winners), meaning you are more likely to win the coveted gold statuette this year than get bitten by a shark. Better get crackin’ on that script!
2. Die while scuba diving. While it sucks to think about, over 100 people die a year while scuba diving, often from unknown causes. You’re more likely to die while scuba diving from something like an equipment malfunction than to get attacked by a shark. There, don’t you feel better?
3. Dealt a full house—three times in a row. The odds of getting dealt a full house (three of a kind and two of another kind, one of the highest hands in poker) is 1 in 693.Let’s say you spend all night playing poker with the guys. You are more likely to get dealt a full house three times in a row than get bitten by a shark. Just how much money did you win last time you played poker?
4. Killed by a falling aircraft. In murky waters everyone’s on the lookout for killer sharks. How often are you on the lookout for falling aircraft? Instead of the Great White Shark you should be looking out for the Great White Airbus.
5. Win a Nobel Prize. Six prizes are awarded. This actually makes your odds of winning any one year lower than getting bit by a shark. However, factor in how often they are awarded, and your odds quickly zoom past shark territory.