Cockles, mussels and limpets, all grand little lads and lassies, molluscs to a man/woman/whatever. Cockles are the useless shells you fill your pockets with when you are a child visiting the seaside and your daft aunt uses to make “arts ‘n crafts”. Limpets are you with your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Mussels are nice in a garlic sauce…
In the movie of his life, “plump, stately” Donal Buckley will dramatically played by George Clooney, with swimming stunts by seven times world 50 metre champion Mark Foster, a platoon of Irish Army Rangers, and a seal. A real seal. A Common Seal. Born in 19whatever, Ireland’s year of Independence and nine months after his mother went…
I have always been struck by the comparisons between swimming, blogging and photography. Swimming Blogging Photography Seems easy before you start √ √ √ Hey, hey, look at me everyone √ √ √ Hey, I’m pretty good at this √ √ √ Takes more time that you realise √ √ √ Oh my god, no, I’m…
As overheard. By which writers really mean, it’s something they may have said or wished they had said. “That’s the weekend swim towel so it doesn’t really probably need to be washed for another couple of weeks .” “Yes, he always pees on himself just before he starts a swim.” “Unexpected? Well, I was out in big chop and my sinuses filled…
This is my open water swimming toolbox, come and have a poke around. Okay, hang on, watch where you’re putting that finger. The toolbox is made of lycra, silicone, plastic and flesh and brainstuff. I constructed it myself because you can’t purchase one off the shelf, regardless of what some salespeople will have you believe,…
It’s been a while since I posted any nightmare fuel for open water swimmers, so I thought I might collect a few of my favourites together. We’ll start gently. Close encounter with a humpback. One from years ago on the blog, the frilled shark, aka dragon shark. Remember Brutus the giant Australian salt-water crocodile? A…
Every so often I get asked by a runner or triathlete for a bit of stroke advice or help, which I’m always happy to do, (as, in my experience, is pretty much the case with every experienced swimmer in a public pool). Here’s how it usually goes: “Hey, you seem like a decent swimmer. I have…
It was a genius idea by Dee. Jelly babies are notorious favourites of open water distance and Channel swimmers. Tiny parcels of coloured and flavoured glucose perfectly anthropomorphised, that sate a craving. Relatively waterproof and easy to pass to a swimmer, or for crew to snarf a few themselves, they provide an instant hit of…
In the early twentieth century, American satirist Ambrose Bierce collected his weekly newspaper columns into a book which he intended to call a Cynic’s Dictionary. His repeated characterisation as a devil by various US politicians of the day led to its publication under the title of Devil’s Dictionary. I have neither the wit not skill of…
I have a substance-abuse problem. Sometimes I’ve used it when I should have been doing other things. I thought of it when I should have been thinking of other things. I done it to extremes, by myself, often where no-one else can see me. Sometimes I done it in full view of others and felt…
There was a discussion on Twitter amongst Irish bloggers that caught my eye, but when I checked it was for Irish Beauty bloggers. I see no reason why I should be excluded, the beauty of open water swimmers through the ages being well known. Beauty Panda eyes are always on trend. A classic look that subtly indicate…
You thought the whole Lance Armstrong saga was infuriating or frustrating, annoying or downright appalling? As have we all. Yet little did we know where it would lead or how quickly it would affect swimmers. Last week’s news of an agreement between WADA (World anti-doping agency), USADA (United States anti-doping agency) and the European Non-Government Sporting Organisation…
I’ve noticed something for a while now. Years of cycling and surfing meant I’ve always had a tanned face and hands and arms (Farmer’s Tan). I also have somewhat sallow coloured skin for an Irish person, less obvious now than when I was younger, when I was occasionally asked if I was Spanish. (We Irish…
Swimmer 1: Well, how’s the training going? Swimmer 2: Meh. Ok, I guess. Getting sick of it. Swimmer 1: I know. Week after week of the bloody chlorine box. Swimmer 2: How’s the shoulders? Swimmer 1: I’ve got some twinges but they’re holding up. Had pain in the good one a couple of weeks ago, got…
To: European Union Centre for Anthropological Studies, Irish Department of Sport, Irish Department of Heritage and Tourism, FINA, South London Swimming Club, Sandycove Island Swimming Club, Channel Swimming and Piloting Federation, Irish Bankers Association, the wealthy guy from down the road. Proposal: The advent of ubiquitous communication and democratization of publication has led to an explosion in discussion…
I have been deputized to speak on behalf of the entire country of Ireland in this. We have universal agreement. It may in fact be the only thing we all agree on. March 17th is St. Patrick’s Day, St. Paddy’s Day or just Paddy’s Day. It is not ever St. Patty’s or St. Pattie’s Day.…
Improved higher resolution version. (Also since this image has been claimed by others, this version has this website on it). Edit: Some other people may have claimed to drawn this but this is my creation, (February January 2012). Any versions with other web-sites embedded in the image are at best mis-leading. This is the older version:
I get asked various questions related to cold because I like to write about it. Those questions often inspire further writing ideas. One thing I realised was there was no good agreement on cold water. A poll of open water swimmers by DNOWS gave the following results. Under 5ºC (41ºF) – 0% Under 10ºC (50ºF) – 7%…
These are typical swimsuit ads, you see them all over the place. You know the only cold that this pair has ever felt was when he left his cashmere scarf behind that one time in that lovely little boutique in Chelsea after he came back from a weekend in a yacht in St. Tropez and…
Given the farcical state of the Irish Presidential election, the dogs and I sat down and discussed it and I decided to throw my name into the contest. Now I know many of you are overseas, and desperate as you are to vote for me, I thought I should explain the Irish Presidency is a…
LoneSwimmer 